A moment that changed my life

     I had been wanting to post about my labor experience,not that I will ever forget howI felt the moment when I feel in love at first sight the moment that I would give my life for this precious little girl named Violet Ruby. It was a Monday morning and as I got ready for my 8am doctor appointment I noticed a rare star pattern in my eye sight. As the prior weeks I had been back and fourth from the hospital with high blood pressure I knew this wasn't a good sign. The only thing I knew was that I was 38 weeks and I was considered full term. That my Violet would be safe for delivery.

After having a perfect pregnancy at 35 week I had extreme swollen feet that then continued to my face down to my hands, then I encountered high blood pressure at every doctor visit, which lead to me going to the hospital every time and getting hooked up to machine to check the baby heart rate and my pressure every 15 minutes, and tube after tube of blood test. I remember my first scare I was freaking out I didn't know I was going to be OK but my faith made me strong. Not to say I had my mother by my side this whole time I knew she was scared  but she stayed strong for both of us. She always reassured  me everything was going to be fine,and I always believed her. 

Well this hospital routine continued for 3 weeks and every week I was in and out of the doctor 3 to 4 times. I was being looked at closely all due to this high blood pressure that came out of no where. I was  so overwhelmed I just wanted everything to be fine I thought and prayed that I had made it so far why was this happening now...

But the day came no more blood test no more scares I got induced on Oct 28 at 3:00pm it was time it was really happening, I knew that no matter what I was going to meet my daughter. I texted my husband "babe its time to meet our daughter get over here as soon as you can " he was also on edge with everything that had been going on. But today was no false alarm it was time.

My husband arrived shortly after I had never been so happy to see him .Then  my dad, my mom, my sister in law and a good friend of mine also arrived, I had a full room of people. The pain was getting more and more intense, the contractions where hitting hard as I watched the monitor. At 11:00pm I knew it was time to get the epidural, this was my birth plan pain medicine, I wasn't about to get all crazy and go natural oh no not me I was the epidural expert. Well it sure made the pain easier but I noticed I still felt the contractions  and I was pushing that remote they gave me. I was for sure getting worried this wasn't happening epidural was my ticket to a easy delivery why was this happening. Well it didn't get better oh no it got worse and it hit me hard in a matter of 3 hours I was dilated 9 cm

Everyone had left and the only ones still there was my mother and my husband. We had discussed that he wasn't going to be in the delivery room so when all the nurses came in with this intense delivery table and some how the bed I was laying on was transforming to the delivery bed. I looked at my husband worried eyes and I told him "babe we'll see you in bit go outside someone will call you ok, I love you"It was a sad good bye I didn't want him to leave but he had to because what I went through after he left there's no words to define the feeling that over took my body to deliver my baby. The epidural didn't work I felt EVERYTHING the pain was so extreme I felt as I had a out of body experience the nurses screamed one more push but I felt that I just couldn't. But through the insanity I heard my mom say to me "mija you can do it " and she was crying. So through all the pain I found the strength and give those last pushes that I needed. 

I opened my eyes and saw my daughter for the first time the doctor was holding her feet up he then gave her that shake and she cried.That moment all the emotion I had ever felt in my life rushed through my body and I cried like I had never cried before. As the nurses assisted her I asked my mom "how is she " and she reassured me that she was beautiful. That was enough for me to know that she was well and heathy.

I kept asking the nurse to call my husband I needed him in there, our daughter was here !!! at last my mother went for him.And at that moment we become a family we where now three. Violet was placed in my arms and she was having a huge conversation with me she was just looking at me saying only God knows.But it was a special moment that I shared with her at that moment I become a mother.

As they say nothing that comes easy is worth having. my daughter has filled me with so much hope love and faith she's our miracle baby. 

This blog will be my journey threw mother hood. Hope to review and meet mom like myself that feel like your doing everything wrong but at the same time your doing everything right. 

thank you for stopping by don't forget to follow!!! 

xoxo

Violet's mom